| I may just have to give up on you. It's not that I don't care. It's just, well... I think I am moving past this phase of mine... ya know, everyone in my words and thoughts. Besides, I don't even know what people are saying about me. The thrill is gone. I need my own life now.
Oh Xanga... please don't be upset... I'll write occasionally... Maybe I'll post pictures to give you a little sneak preview of my life.
I have to take care of myself first, you know that.
Love,
Valerie
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|  My dog is super fly. His name is a Dakota He cuddles with me on the couch during movies. He likes white cheddar popcorn. He can understand every word I say. He makes faces at me to let me know how he feels. He cries when I leave. I love my little dog.  |
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| By nice I mean...
... the weather.
... the friends.
... the laughter.
... the music.
... well, pretty much everything.
Today is just a nice day.
Agree or disagree. Whatever you'd like, but I think today is a nice day and you should to!
Take that!
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| Alright, I'm going to give this honesty thing a shot.
I am a stupid human being. I have lost everything I used to be. I am annoyed by that. I have always tried to become better. I never used to quit. I never settled on something less than what I thought it should be. Why now? Why start now? Why do I fill my head with the silly nonsense of "I can't" and "I don't want to" and "this makes no sense"? AHH! I want to scream! SCREAM!
That would be silly though, I would wake up my roommate.
The leaves are changing colors, and perhaps I am also changing colors... in a sense. No more of this giving up on what's important like my education, my morals, my values... no more non sense... no more settling for less than what I want or deserve. I am better than this. I am better. I am so much better!
I haven't been this honest on xanga in a while. I don't like people knowing how I feel...
That's another thing that has changed. I used to not care about what other people think of me... my appearance... my thoughts... my hopes... my dreams. Now, I can't help but wonder what it is they are thinking about me.
What makes me so dang sure they are even thinking about me at all?
Selfish... stupid... quitter!
Phew. I feel better.
But I have to get better before I feel revived.
That is my prayer. I just want to be better. I just want to be revive.
God, revive my soul... revive my heart.
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